Don't Even Mess With The CIA!The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a
rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”
He Must Be Blonde!A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.”
The woman answered “Well, I have contacts.”
The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!”
I Know That!If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, then how do they get baby oil?
The Favourite!At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon.
The Redheads speak up “That’s been done before, we’re going to go to Mars”.
The Blondes speak up “That’s nothing, we’re going to be the first people to go to the Sun”.
One of the reporters says “Don’t you idiots know that you’ll burn up?”
The Blondes say “NO WE WON’T; WE’RE GOING TO GO AT NIGHT!”
One-Liners!How did the blonde try to kill the bird…she threw it off of a cliff.
Why does a blonde only change her baby’s diapers every month…the instructions stated, “good for up to 20 pounds”.
Why do men like blonde jokes…it is one thing they can understand.
What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head…a space invader.
What do you call a smart blonde…a golden retriever.
Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months…because the box said from 2-4 years.
What do UFO’s and smart blondes have in common…you keep hearing about them, but never see any.
What do you call a blonde in college…a visitor.
Question to the blonde…why do you have an ice pack on your chest…to keep the milk fresh.
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